The past weeks, I have been worrying a lot. It’s my health that caused me to worry a lot. Waking up at wee hours with arms & legs numb, difficulty in breathing and palpitation at times. I am so afraid of getting sick because I have 2 boys who are still very dependent on me. They’re still toddlers.
Going through this anxiety, I realized that God was working out an attitude for me. I woke up in the middle of my sleep with my arm numbed and had difficulty of breathing. I prayed that God would help and heal me. I tried going back to sleep but my head can’t let go of the fear; thinking this might be something serious, so I get up again, grabbed the tablet and found myself googling. When I found out that what was happening in my body was quite normal, that even healthy people might experience, I get a relief and was able to get back to sleep.
The following morning, recalling of what had happened, I realize that I don’t fully trust God. The fact that the information I got from the internet has calmed my winding mind rather than trusting that God will answer my prayer proves it. It was then supported by a testimony of a friend who went thru a successful thyroid operation and later on finding out that she has stage 1 cancer of the thyroid. She was not worried at all, for according to her, he surrendered everything to God. She doesn’t look sick and worried she was happy and glowing despite her sickness. I realized that God was telling me to step forward and level up my faith in Him. God is working on me and building the foundation of my faith because faith alone comes from Him.
I am learning to trust Him everyday. Learning total surrender, but I know I still got a long way; I believe God is at work and I am a work in progress. I am lifting up everything to Him and trusting that He will settle everything for me. Thank you Lord!